MC - Top Model Search

There will be a Top Model Search event and it will be Emceed by YOURS TRULY! =D (yeah, you can probably tell I'm pretty ecstatic about the scale of the event)

So I'm asking all my kakis everywhere to come support me as well as the event.

Date : 7th of July (07.07.07)
Venue : Maisons, The Club
Time: 7pm onwards
Dress Code : Smart Casual - Black Rose (Ladies), King of Hearts (Men)
Tickets : RM40 (door sales), RM35 (pre-book)

Do call me (0122501688) for bookings if you want a ticket bookings, table bookings, bottle promotions, etc. I'll try my best to do what I can,k? Oh, CLICK HERE to have a pre-view of the models appearing that night.

Oh, and as a treat, I heard that there might be an international DJ playin' that night. Hope to see you all there!

A fine day

There was this song in the album Laughing Stock, by Kopi Kat Klan called "Singapore is a fine country". This was a hit album among some of my friends (especially Jayson, imitating Kiasu King). The first time I heard the song, I thought how conceited of them to praise their own country. But upon listening closely, you realize they're talking about how easily one can kena saman in Singapore.

How clever.

You've probably deduced why I brought this up by now. Yes, Justin kena saman today. But in my defense, I probably deserved three instead of the one i kena-ed. Firstly, I will admit that I have a habit of finding lubang to park 'just for awhile' while I run certain errands. In fact, I'm so stubborn I'll go out of my way to not pay that RM3/hour carpark despite knowing that a single summon can offset all that I've 'saved'. So begins the story..

I went to the bus station to get a ticket for a trip up to Penang(no, it's not a food trip...not entirely at least), saw parking lots, moved on. Saw another one, moved on. Then I saw my spot. Behind this bigass bus waiting for its passengers on the main road. So I carefully parked close to the curb, locked up, look left, then right, walked away..Then I looked back again - justincase. "Just for awhile mahh.."

After about 20 mins, I was done. On my way back, I saw that the bus had left, and there were neither cars behind nor in front of mine. "So fugged..", I thought as I approached doom. But alas, no magic paper!

Feeling lucky and contented, I ventured to my next destination, Petaling Street. I wanted to take a stroll after a long time of not going there after *thinks*..about a year! (no thanks to Semenyih..) So i was on the lookout again. Lots..more lots.. ahah! A space behind a car (i think already parked cars give you a this-guy-probably-knows-that-this-is-a-safe-zone feeling..) beside a shop just in front of the entrance into P.street. Again, I parked and went, albeit with a little less caution as before. Besides, it's "just for awhile mahh.."

This time I took only 10 mins and made my way towards my car when i saw a familiar white paper flapping on my wipers.

KNNBCB*&#%niaput&$#@@tamade&$

It was a RM30 summon for.. you know what it's for. AAIEEEHHHH... First thing that came to my mind : RAYU. "Yes yes, 15 bux is not so bad. Sure can, sure can.." So I leaned on my car and began calling my trusty links on where to do what and what other jalan might there be. *whistles*
I was directed to the DBKL h/quarters. For your future benefit (am NOT cursing you..its justincase) it's located just past Dataran Merdeka (when it's on your left). 20 mins of twisting and turning in the ever puzzling KL roads, I reached the carpark. Guess what? Free parking was all taken as far as my eyes could see. Screw thishit, am not donating another cent to this jokers. So I was on a lookout, again. (old habits die hard! haha) Only this time, I found one, in the next building belonging to PKNS. Obviously I checked whether I had to pay parking. Not doing so it like stealing honey the queen bee's hive man. I didn't. Sweet.

On the way there, I saw many many officers dressed in the DBKL uniform. It wasn't intentional but i HATED THE SIGHT. I'm really sad to say but officials in this country are just not a pleasant sight. It signifies more trouble than help. Not to mention their fuggedup faces and smirks they give you when they're about to smack one at you. *thinks..* I was going to type "in this case, Singapore's better. At least they smile." but upon second thought, most of us ask for trouble here anyway. Moving on.

I came to a very well decorated em, area. Pretty comfy too. I thought to myself, "hmm, I wonder how many justincases they had to catch to build this place.." When my number came up, I went into this rayuan cubicle. Being me, I greeted the guy and tried to berfren-fren with him in hopes that he does not double the cost of my ticket to Penang.

Armed with a big smile, I tried my luck with, "Eh, kalau bayar dalam sejam boleh diskaun lebih, ke?"
"Ada..", he replied and proceeded to reduce the summon to RM10 and went on with the usual Q&A question as to why I did it, where i kena, etc. He was so pleasant he even thought he'd seen me before.

To my dismay, I could no longer be even frustrated. This just re-emphasizes what I've always been saying; despite the abundant issues that just boils your blood, there will always be the many small perks that'll make you inhale and heave a big "whatever lahhh..." sigh. Call it ignorance and/or tolerance, but it's hard to hate - for me at least.

More lessons today: (many which I already know but needs emphasis)

1. The stress that comes with getting or anticipating a summon is just not worth it. Find proper lubangs.
2. "Just for awhile.." is not justified, but neither are the outrageous parking rates. Still contemplating this one.
   
3. When you park behind cars, check whether there are people inside the damn car.
4. Petaling street is boring anytime before noon. Actually, there's not much to see IMO.
   
5. 1p.m. is not a good time to drive around - morning session school's ending and lunch hour
6. Some Malay words are simply irreplacable. (e.g. memang, kena, etc.)

Hope you enjoyed the relatively Malaysian-fied post. Have a fine day.

Women are dangerous

Starter: This is not a post about road safety.

I know what're you thinking, it's one of those anti-feminist-filled posts. But be surprised to know, this exact phrase came from a woman, an elderly one at that. She's my grandmother.
After visiting my mother in the hospital today, (yeah, she got admitted for spraining her back and taking overly strong medication - which by the way, wasn't confirmed to be correct till the time of writing - causing extreme nausea leading us to the emergency ward at 9.45 a.m.) I had lunch with my grandma and Batman. While talking about future plans and such, the 'women' topic crept up. My grandmother preached about how 'men at this age' should not stick to one girl, and have many girlfriends. "When the time is right, and the pocket is aptly packed, then you choose..", she concluded. Having been trained to question throughout my engineering courses, I asked "Why?"

"Because women are dangerous!", says her. Then came the talk about 'girls from China' which just left me shaking my head, as though seeing flashes of TheStar frontpages in my mind.

Later that evening I met up with my ex-Semenyih-housemates and were discussing about matters close to the heart (i.e. girls, money..and stuff). One of our friends was recently involved in a very dramatic relationship with someone whom he thought the world of. Why such a dramatic word like dramatic, you ask. Well, picture this. The perfect combination of romantic scenes from TVB series (i.e. romantic moments on the rooftop, 'electricity' running so high it lights us spotlights up, sweetness that could lead to diabetes) and the all-in-one drama from Bollywood movies (e.g. 3rd parties, singlehood, love, hate, jealousy, persistence, angry parents.. minus the dance crew and the *deng-e-degechak-e-denge-deng-..* music). I feel proud to have been in such epic sequels of which we fondly referred to as Episodes I-VI.

Thing is, it was over as fast as it began.

When I heard it, my face was like [center]..

Which way would you've went?
I went both.

I always thought, the harder someone works for something, the more he/she'll appreciate and treasure it. Just like durians. You go through a mindfield to get it, face the spikes, precise aiming and brute strength just to taste the.. (seriously, just drooled inside) .. the sweetness of it all. This did not make sense as I thought this one'd last, at least for sometime.

Though I'm sparing verbal details, I'm posting this picture for you to assemble the pieces. This was drawn by this friend of mine which perfectly depicts the story. So go figure and you can comment your guesses, haha.

Now, now. This is not to say menkind is all good either. Chauvinists, perverts, jerks, sexists, pigs, asses, and the list gets wilder. Heard most of them. The main difference is that (most) men are terribly honest about it. If I'm an ass, I'll say I'm an ass. My friends know I'm an ass. A bundle of asses, we are. We admit n accept, n' get along. I know this may annoy some women as to, "Then why don't you change?!". Well, so long as it's not bad for our health, doesn't kill and/or hurt anyone, it's fine by us. What would the fairer sex do? Be honest now.

From this, I've (re)learnt a few things:

1. Women are dangerous to a certain extent (for personal confrontation, call me and we'll have a go at this one, hah)
   
2. When the going gets tough, you gotta think of yourself first i.e. survival of the fittest
3. If it could happen to him/her, it could happen to you
4. (as above) One thing i know for sure, is nothing's for sure
5. Blood is thicker than water ('brothers' included =)
   

But all men are well versed with this phrase: Women - can't live with them, can't live without them.

Because we are men
(extracted from a joke by Allan Pease)

If we work too hard, there is never any time for her and the kids; if we don't work hard enough, we're good for nothing.
If a man gets a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism; if she gets a promotion ahead of a man, that is equal opportunity.
If a man thumps her, that is wife bashing; if she thumps him, that's self defence.
If he asks her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination; if she asks him, it's a favour.
If we try to stay in shape, that's vanity; if we don't we're slobs.
If we buy her flowers, we're after something; if we don't, we're forgetful.
If she has a headache, it's because she's tired; if he has a headache, he doesn't love her anymore.

P.S. : On a lighter note, Happy Father's day to all fathers!
PP.SS: Btw, my mom has been discharged from the hospital now and is thankfully better now.

Better days

After being on a mighty high from last week, I have sensed and personally experienced an aura of low-ness amongst myself as well as some of my friends. Could it be the balancing forces of Yin and Yang? Or maybe life's like a wave oscillating us about a set lifeline. Maybe it's God's way of keeping us in check; to make us realize that there is no perfect life. So we are 'down to earth'.

Some blame fate. Among all the superstitions and myths, I simply refuse to buy this one. I believe if you want something so bad, there ain't no mountain high enough to stop you from reaching it.

Yet shit happens..again and again. And it crumbles whatever hope you've had, whatever determination you've mustered and whatever effort you've put in.

In my opinion, there's only two answers for situations such as these - purpose and faith.

"Is purpose all that?", some ask. Based on my observation, any successful thing anyone has done in life is done because he knows why he must succeed - or why he cannot fail. When shit happens, it's what tells you to ignore the stench and focus on how the hell to get out of it.

Faith on the other hand is a more abstract concept. In John 20:29, faith is perfectly phrased: "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.." I'm not getting all theological but it's true. The notion that one can simply surrender all his problems to a greater power and just believe that it will somehow be settled is just too hard to accept for most, even myself. Reason being that this is an absolute contrast of the previous factor.

The clashing of these two principles is a direct result of 21st century education. Man is now trained to rationalize i.e. There is a reason for everything. I am seriously wondering how any religion would survive. At this point I realize how sensitive yet serious this issue can get. But I am merely stating a realistic point of view in anyone's life right now.

So do we be go-getters or do we stay put and leave it to supernatural forces far beyond our grasp and control? As much as I want to embrace both, it just doesn't.make.sense. Have we become too smart for our own good?

For all of you that have been feeling the same, this one's for you.

click Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days for lyrics

P.S : This is a long extension of some of the things i've been going through. Things have not been that bad.

Chinese Weddings

I attended a Chinese wedding last Sunday. It was my *pauses* Grandfather's sister's daughter's sons's wedding; my uncle basically. As much as I love culture and family, I cannot help but resent attending something 3 hours long and will probably have no benefit to me whatsoever. Probably, I say.

So anyway, fast forwarding to the event itself.

So one reaches the restaurant and is greeted by the bride and groom(B&G). And oddly enough, no matter which direction you enter, your entrance will seem grand.. when you're late, which in my opinion somehow downplays the entrance of the B&G. So after shuffling through the tables and having many bored, waiting guests annoyed by the punctuality of events and a gurgling stomach judge you from top to bottom, you sit.

"So many unfamiliar faces, so little to talk about.." This situation is made worse by a Hakka zhai (Hakka not being able to say more than "Yeeeen wong.." (..You know, I don't know how to translate this, but I think it's somewhere between Whoah and terrrrrible) and "Ngi zho magai?" (What're you doing?). So you talk, make small chat, answer how are things at university, try to answer your future plans, and do your best to not make yourself the topic and just eat the food..and order more red wine.

And then there's always the Emcee who does his best to bring up the crowd's spirits. However, for the first time in history, this wedding planner found a way to reduce this expense - ear-blasting-uncle/aunty-karaoke.
Now, now, I'm not all bad. I love ears, i love loud music, I love uncles and aunties, and I love karaoke. BUT come on, combining these four elements are like putting all our moms on a nagging spree in a large moving bus - unecessary noise, and there's nothing we can do about it. The karaoke was so loud that I couldn't hear when my mom speaked to me - she sat 2 seats beside me, btw.

I noticed an unusual phenomenon, though. Halfway through, I saw many people giving a standing welcome to a new singer - what looked like a young 7 year old girl. So my question is : Why the difference in treatment to the seniors and the juniors? Why no standing ovations for the more talented elderly? If you asked me, the clapping's obviously not for the singing talent. I say screw public karaoke in the first place. I mean most of us squirm upon hearing a girl go off-pitch during American Idol auditions, yet here we are practically having no choice but to listen to some USO (unidentified singing object) sing an amplified version of Teresa Teng's Hé Rì Jūn Zài Lái through very large BOSE speakers.

It's just uncalled for. I couldn't talk, neither could i leave. (for long at least..) My patience was being tested.

At this point you're drinking some Tong Sui while eating some sweet Dau Sar filled cake..thingys. Just then things started looking brighter when the emcee started getting a little rowdy. He started Latin dancing! (I know cuz it's quite obvious how much he attempted to swaggle his hips) Well basically, he looked high, especially when he went to tease them old women to make them cover their faces in glee. *shivers*

Here's a short clip.



Ah.. But i can't help stating the obvious pros of chinese weddings. YUUUUMMMMM SEEENGGG! And it's always interesting to find out who you're related to. e.g. Cherie, my long lost friend-turned-cousin. It's really weird you know, like a big twist in a Bollywood movie.


Well, in the end, so long as Dai ka hoi sum (everyone's happy). Cheers!

The great Bald of China

Today marks a pause to a 2 year long friendship between two strangers who despite meeting by coincidence, bonded to brotherhood. I am referring to no other than my Chinese bro, Deng Hui.

For those who know me well anytime before 2005, my lack of proficiency in any sort of Chinese was as prominent as my fluency in Tamil. So the thought of living beside a chinese, (pronounced CHI-nese as Len Jin once taught me how to accentuate the chines-ity of a pure-blood) was an exciting new prospect.

The first few days we both conversed in Cantonese, which was akin to a dog speaking to a cat in English. Both not really knowing how to and obviously out of courtesy.

*pauses to contemplate whether I should publicly reveal all the Chinaman's exploits; which by the way make very interesting stories during yumcha sessions*

Perhaps not, someone might get arrested.

Well, fast-forward two years ahead. I've learnt how to converse in Mandarin! (not to mention curse the hell out of someone, no thanks to Mr. Ko too, hah) That's been something I've been trying to achieve since I realize I'm missing out on so, so much. I've also learnt a lot about the chinese culture, what's different between here and there. Some of the examples are how the Buddhists in Malaysia worship more than the three main Gods, being Guan Ying, em.. I forget. And when doing business with Chinese businessmen, it is absolutely imperative to master these three factors, being:

Eating - what as well as where. Reason being: ALL business deals are discussed while chewing on a local delicacy.


Drinking - nothing below 60% alcohol content. Go figure.

Smoking. Do not mess with Chinese cigarettes. At about Rm20/pack, nothing has tasted better than Panda cigarettes. =D


I've also learnt quite abit about Chinese Tea drinking. (I have his tea set, hah!)

1. When you're pouring, the last portion of each batch should be equally distributed. Symbolizes equal sharing of the earnings;
2. There was once we drank this Pu Er tea, apparently one of the new specialties and has slimming properties. It's proven - Deng Hui lost about 10 kilos as a result of 3 months of daily Pu Er sessions. Came back looking like an anaeroxic stick only to return to his san zhu (wildboar) state. Anyway, any more than it can upset your stomach. When I first tasted it, it tasted bitter only to turn sweet in the end. So he says, there's a meaning to this. "Sien ku, hou tian" translated as "First bitter, then sweet". Much bitterness you must go through, to taste the sweetness of your success. Nice.

And in our last local yumcha session, Nelson and I asked him what's he really gonna miss here. "The food loh..", replied DH. "Which food lah?", asks Justin.

"Asam Laksa lorr.." ==>












"Satay Lorr.."


So my theory is right. Expats earning BIG BUX and living lavish lifestyles can't help but come back here for one big fat reason - Malaysian food!

You all are probably wondering about the origins of this post's title. Wonder no more.

Thanks Deng Hui. It's been a wonderful two years, and I've learnt alot. Hope to see you soon! Keep in touch CHINAMAN!