The great Bald of China

Today marks a pause to a 2 year long friendship between two strangers who despite meeting by coincidence, bonded to brotherhood. I am referring to no other than my Chinese bro, Deng Hui.

For those who know me well anytime before 2005, my lack of proficiency in any sort of Chinese was as prominent as my fluency in Tamil. So the thought of living beside a chinese, (pronounced CHI-nese as Len Jin once taught me how to accentuate the chines-ity of a pure-blood) was an exciting new prospect.

The first few days we both conversed in Cantonese, which was akin to a dog speaking to a cat in English. Both not really knowing how to and obviously out of courtesy.

*pauses to contemplate whether I should publicly reveal all the Chinaman's exploits; which by the way make very interesting stories during yumcha sessions*

Perhaps not, someone might get arrested.

Well, fast-forward two years ahead. I've learnt how to converse in Mandarin! (not to mention curse the hell out of someone, no thanks to Mr. Ko too, hah) That's been something I've been trying to achieve since I realize I'm missing out on so, so much. I've also learnt a lot about the chinese culture, what's different between here and there. Some of the examples are how the Buddhists in Malaysia worship more than the three main Gods, being Guan Ying, em.. I forget. And when doing business with Chinese businessmen, it is absolutely imperative to master these three factors, being:

Eating - what as well as where. Reason being: ALL business deals are discussed while chewing on a local delicacy.


Drinking - nothing below 60% alcohol content. Go figure.

Smoking. Do not mess with Chinese cigarettes. At about Rm20/pack, nothing has tasted better than Panda cigarettes. =D


I've also learnt quite abit about Chinese Tea drinking. (I have his tea set, hah!)

1. When you're pouring, the last portion of each batch should be equally distributed. Symbolizes equal sharing of the earnings;
2. There was once we drank this Pu Er tea, apparently one of the new specialties and has slimming properties. It's proven - Deng Hui lost about 10 kilos as a result of 3 months of daily Pu Er sessions. Came back looking like an anaeroxic stick only to return to his san zhu (wildboar) state. Anyway, any more than it can upset your stomach. When I first tasted it, it tasted bitter only to turn sweet in the end. So he says, there's a meaning to this. "Sien ku, hou tian" translated as "First bitter, then sweet". Much bitterness you must go through, to taste the sweetness of your success. Nice.

And in our last local yumcha session, Nelson and I asked him what's he really gonna miss here. "The food loh..", replied DH. "Which food lah?", asks Justin.

"Asam Laksa lorr.." ==>












"Satay Lorr.."


So my theory is right. Expats earning BIG BUX and living lavish lifestyles can't help but come back here for one big fat reason - Malaysian food!

You all are probably wondering about the origins of this post's title. Wonder no more.

Thanks Deng Hui. It's been a wonderful two years, and I've learnt alot. Hope to see you soon! Keep in touch CHINAMAN!