Chinese Weddings

I attended a Chinese wedding last Sunday. It was my *pauses* Grandfather's sister's daughter's sons's wedding; my uncle basically. As much as I love culture and family, I cannot help but resent attending something 3 hours long and will probably have no benefit to me whatsoever. Probably, I say.

So anyway, fast forwarding to the event itself.

So one reaches the restaurant and is greeted by the bride and groom(B&G). And oddly enough, no matter which direction you enter, your entrance will seem grand.. when you're late, which in my opinion somehow downplays the entrance of the B&G. So after shuffling through the tables and having many bored, waiting guests annoyed by the punctuality of events and a gurgling stomach judge you from top to bottom, you sit.

"So many unfamiliar faces, so little to talk about.." This situation is made worse by a Hakka zhai (Hakka not being able to say more than "Yeeeen wong.." (..You know, I don't know how to translate this, but I think it's somewhere between Whoah and terrrrrible) and "Ngi zho magai?" (What're you doing?). So you talk, make small chat, answer how are things at university, try to answer your future plans, and do your best to not make yourself the topic and just eat the food..and order more red wine.

And then there's always the Emcee who does his best to bring up the crowd's spirits. However, for the first time in history, this wedding planner found a way to reduce this expense - ear-blasting-uncle/aunty-karaoke.
Now, now, I'm not all bad. I love ears, i love loud music, I love uncles and aunties, and I love karaoke. BUT come on, combining these four elements are like putting all our moms on a nagging spree in a large moving bus - unecessary noise, and there's nothing we can do about it. The karaoke was so loud that I couldn't hear when my mom speaked to me - she sat 2 seats beside me, btw.

I noticed an unusual phenomenon, though. Halfway through, I saw many people giving a standing welcome to a new singer - what looked like a young 7 year old girl. So my question is : Why the difference in treatment to the seniors and the juniors? Why no standing ovations for the more talented elderly? If you asked me, the clapping's obviously not for the singing talent. I say screw public karaoke in the first place. I mean most of us squirm upon hearing a girl go off-pitch during American Idol auditions, yet here we are practically having no choice but to listen to some USO (unidentified singing object) sing an amplified version of Teresa Teng's Hé Rì Jūn Zài Lái through very large BOSE speakers.

It's just uncalled for. I couldn't talk, neither could i leave. (for long at least..) My patience was being tested.

At this point you're drinking some Tong Sui while eating some sweet Dau Sar filled cake..thingys. Just then things started looking brighter when the emcee started getting a little rowdy. He started Latin dancing! (I know cuz it's quite obvious how much he attempted to swaggle his hips) Well basically, he looked high, especially when he went to tease them old women to make them cover their faces in glee. *shivers*

Here's a short clip.



Ah.. But i can't help stating the obvious pros of chinese weddings. YUUUUMMMMM SEEENGGG! And it's always interesting to find out who you're related to. e.g. Cherie, my long lost friend-turned-cousin. It's really weird you know, like a big twist in a Bollywood movie.


Well, in the end, so long as Dai ka hoi sum (everyone's happy). Cheers!