Pace change

I'm BACK!

After 5 months in the island, I'm now back to BAT headquarters. And headquarters it is. I'm seated in between 2 bosses, with other bosses wandering just around the corner. First day and I finished work at 10pm. I do see more of the 'Freedom Through Responsibility' principle played out here but.. when many are still busy at work at 7pm, I suppose the freedom is limited only by yourself now.

Caged in your own cell, how weird is that.

And as weird as it sounds, I now have to get used to KL, especially the food part. I'm so used to travelling wherever to get whatever and it all'll be about 15 minutes away max. KL's mostly food courts and all at RM5 or more. KL, so called the state in the land of opportunity. Inflation here is quite terrible, I tell yah. And one more thing about the food. Suddenly I realize that the portions are not all that big after all compared to Penang.

So I'm still having mixed feelings about being back. And I'm not having less freedom, just a different type of 'caged freedom'. The pace here is faster and I'm guessing I'm just slightly in denial about the whole thing. I'm starting to miss Penang man! :(

Blah.

In the meantime, do watch this hilarious parody of the current political scene. Subtitles and vocals are played to perfection! Kudos to kavilan for his commendable work! Can you guess who's 'Hitler' in the parody?

A letter to an Island

Today marks the end of both my business and personal attachment to Penang after a long but awfully short stay here.

And so I write this with a rather heavy heart as I leave the island that I have become so fond of. For the benefit of brevity and spontanity, I will just leave out rhetorics and focus on the anvil that just hit my head all of a sudden. And obviously I will not be touching on the local delicacies.

Freedom is something that has came on and off during my transition to adulthood beginning with me acquiring my driving license all the way to living with my mates away from "the nest" during the Nottingham days.
But living alone just brings a whole new scope to things, doesn't it? The fact that you can literally do ANYTHING you want without a whim or worry and the fact that you have to do ALL the necessary chores to keep your house in order and in living condition has made me understand the balance that comes with freedom. (as ironic as that sounds) You know you have to clean the sheets so that you don't develop sudden rashes or allergies. You know that you have to wash the car when it turns from white to off-white. You know that you can't leave your trash lying around because they aren't going to move by themselves. You know you have to empty the rubbish before.. it starts smelling like rotten durian. You know you gotta pay the bills or you'd better have your torchlight and 10 gallons of 'emergency water supply' ready. Yes, they all have happened (except for the bills part, I'm pretty tight on that).

The things you take for granted.

On the other hand, like I said, you get to choose when and how you want to do or eat what and where and with whom. Every teenager's fantasy! Think about dinner, what movie to watch, how long to surf, what to read, to work or not to work, how long you want to read, etc etc.

Every teenager's fantasy? Not when you're alone, no.

I'm pretty sure you're asking, "Any friends..at all?" I"m just getting into that.

I've met some of the quirkiest people here in Penang. Let me list it a few:
Lim: Manages to bring people to Holland and leave you laughing but in a motion blur wondering what the hell was your question again.
August: *stunned look*............................ What?? Fun guy who brings the entertainment in forms of mahjong and golfballs.
Lam: SPIM head who never fails to amaze me with his spanar throwing techniques. (that's lingo for giving objections to your proposals in the utmost politically correct manner). One of the geniuses hiding in Penang.
Patrick: Entertainment officer of Penang forever who is biased towards Hokkien Mee.
Terrance: (stolen from 'The Last Lecture') The one who made me realize sometimes the hardest brick wall is about 5 feet tall and made of flesh.
Master Loh: U know Alan Shore from Boston Legal? 'Nuff said.
Papa Lai: Someone who reminds me of that guy in 'Under one Roof'. The wise man armed with entertaining stories that leave you no choice but to willingly agree with everything and anything.

I'm also gonna dearly miss the quirkiest names that they have so fondly nicknamed people here in Penang like Pilot King, Tau ke kia, Rojak, Rambo, Super, Sweeden, Tham kuailan, JALL, M.K.T, and many many more. Yes, BAT's not all work, no play. No siree.

(Most) Penangites are also known for their kualian-ness. (I'll attempt this. *inhale* It's like when you mix stubborn, irritable, demanding, arrogant and - dare I say - bitchiness and take it down 3 - 4 notches) But when or if you get past that, it's just a lovely place where everyone's cincai (simple minded), less racist, less calculative and pretty honest to my standards.

Add all of these factors up (including the food of course), you get a place that is pretty irresistable to most, while others cannot and will not let go off. Is it a wonder why patriotism is so high towards Penang? (island only, Butterworth not so)

I can't promise that I will remember all the Hokkien that I've picked up here, but I will forever remember the lovely memories or work and play that this island and their people have brought me.

Yours truly,
Penang Kia

Really?

People say imitation is the best form of flattery and more often than not I agree too when it comes to buying up the dvd shop in batu ferringi, or when it comes to picking a RM8.50 charkuayteow versus a say, RM2.80 charkuayteow where you'd have to wait for 45 mins and 5 mins respectively. It's all the same to me.

But aside from certain college assignments as well as some classroom antics, I never expected for me to encounter someone..copying.. me. (yes, low self-esteem does come from not scoring Bs in my class)

 At least she took some time to edit it. Reminds me of my uni assignment, of which I got a C - for Copying, lol

Haha, don't get me wrong, I've gotten over any sort of anger or resentment phase that would make this seem like an effect to whine like someone took my lolipop. It's now more of.. em, "what do I do with these people?"

If I may, amplify the scenario to gigantic proportions, I would see myself imagining how it'd be to be a rockstar for a day. I'd have a giant afro that defied gravity and smelt like the bush from hell. I'd mix it up like rapstars with some old school Bling™ that hung from my neck all the way to my.. u know, other bush. And when I come on stage, I see people idolizing me and echoing every word I rock from my rocking mouth.

I say: YEEEEAAAOoOooooo...
They say: YEEEEAAAOoOooooo...
I say:  WooOoeeaEEEEAAAOoOooooo...
They say: WooOoeeaEEEEAAAOoOooooo...

Then again, it isn't that dramatic. A friend of mine tzeching also had her site copied big time before. It's just someone blatantly plagarized my post, and I think it's funny. It's not like I'm making tons of dough typing my ramblings everyday.

But I do want to say this, the least you could do is LINK my SITE, woman!

Let the games begin

I'm pretty excited.

I won't pretend to know what might unfold tomrorow, what seems to be history in the making and I want to bear witness to it. Neither will I pretend to believe in entirety that Rome could in fact be built in a day.

And what more, I'm practically in the epicentre of the impending political quake. OoooOoohhh..

Lets do this people, I can no longer tolerate my country and thus me, being represented by foolish idiots who have no idea what democracy, honesty and priorities are about. No longer will I say tidak-apa to the embarrasing acts and emotionally tormenting quotes that our representatives make us sound like we say. No longer do we sit around in racial cliques during our mamak sessions. No longer do I want to feel even a tingle of fear in my nerves when I speak of religious freedom. No longer do I want to hear of racial inequality because I know - we all know - that there is no such thing as a poorer race, only poor people.

I want to be heard again as a Malaysian - a proud citizen of a melting pot of a country who believe in equality in all levels and terms; one who still has that belief that we have that ever-elusive leaders of great change who will bring us out of injustice, corrupt politicking, third-class mentality, and racial and religious taboos; a nation of pride in our culture. I want to see our brightest talents from around the world flock back in herds to their motherland not only because of cheaper living costs, but for the love and willingness to serve the aspirations of their developing nation. And most of all, I want to hear our government departments shred all forms with the race-indicating column and have a default choice of nationality - Malaysian.

This is my dream, always has, always will. Happy Malaysia Day everyone.

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.” 

~Leon Joseph Cardinal Suenens quotes

Bond, James Bond

Just watched the trailer on Quantum of Solace and I'm not impressed just yet. At a glance, there's the usual violence, expensive cars, vivid villians, and the 'Bond Girl' (featuring Ukrainian-born Olga Kurylenko).

But to me it just isn't the Bond I knew.

For one, you can't blame a guy for being so used to that image of Bond that has been implanted into my mind since I could say Bond.

He's none other than Irish-born Pierce Brosnan. I admire him for his unparalleled coolness, tenacity that portrays from his eyes and above all the shaken-not-stirred charm that all men would love to have and just have to love.

I can never forget the opening chase scene from Tomorrow Never Dies (I think, lol) where he's chasing a car and the target jumps onto a speedboat. He then casually zooms towards the water along the bridge and *woosh* his car turns intoa speedboat itself and together with him, it dives underwater. In the 3 seconds that they're showing him underwater amidst all the chasing madness and near-death stunts, he straightens his tie.

Oh, the embodiment of masculinity - where ego is above all else. And it's probably due to this too that lets him get.all.the.damn.girls. ALLuv them. You may say it's just a show, but.. you really think he can't?

Also, he pulls off great dialogues like:
Q: Would you need collision coverage?
Bond: Yes.
Q: Property destruction?
Bond: Definitely.
Q: Personal injury?
Bond: Accidents do happen..
Q: Grow up Double-oh-seven

And do you know what I just found out?

With just RM1.50, now everyone can be Bond

The new Bond is going to be drinking Coke Zero.

8.0 on the WTF-o-meter

But unlike me, some do appreciate the new Craig-Bond. Perhaps I'll get in the mood get a Diet Coke and watch Casino Royale after a 2 year boycott. Did I mention that I loved the Pierce-Bond?

Don't be like American Jews, Chinese told

Breaking news from Malaysiakini

Penang Umno leader Ahmad Ismail, the man at the centre of the ‘racial slur' controversy, warned Chinese Malaysians not to mimic American Jews who not only seek to control the country's economy but also its political power.

The press conference, which was held at the Penang Umno headquarters this afternoon, ended with shouts of ‘Hidup Melayu' from about 50 local party leaders who were there.

Soon after the event, former Penang Umno committee member Zainol Abidin Hashim, with the help from his colleagues pulled down the photo of Gerakan acting president Dr Koh Tsu Koon which adorned one of the walls in the party headquarters.

Koh's picture frame, which sat next to the photos of the Penang governor and his wife, was subsequently smashed.

As the glass broke into pieces, Zainol removed Koh's photo from the frame and tore it into half.

Ahmad: Take this as a warning

Earlier, Ahmad told the minority Chinese not to go overboard in hurting the feelings of the Malays and Muslims.

"I want them to know, I want them to take this as a warning from the Malays. Malays and Muslims have been provoked many times. We have been patient because we want to maintain stability in the country," he said.

"Remember! The patience of Malays and Muslims has its limits. Do not push us to the wall, where we will be forced to reject the Chinese for the sake of our survival.

"If what I say sounds too strong for BN, take this as a warning from the Malays and Muslims as this has nothing to do with Umno. Do not pressure Umno leaders until they are caught in a dilemma."

He then sounded a dire warning to Koh and Gerakan.

"I want Koh Tsu Koon and Gerakan to take responsibility for whatever untoward incidents that could happen in this country of ours."

Ahmad also called upon BN leaders to "kick Gerakan out" from the ruling coalition.

At the press conference, Ahmad also urged the different states to hold a gathering of the whole ummah (Muslim community).

"Let us not let it go to waste as the flames of anger among Malays and Muslims has reached new heights. Let us take embrace this anger and come together as Malays and Muslims throughout the land so that we can turn the voices of the Malays into one that will unite all Malays and Muslims into one single movement."

Read Ahmad's 16-page press statement.

I was just about to warn you yesterday that BN will be throwing all possible cards to foil Pakatan's 916 plan.. and most unfortunately yet predictably, they're pulling out the racial card.

Brace yourselves Malaysians, looks like a bloody stormy weather ahead.

Malaysia - gua punya! - Part I

The 308 (March 8th) political tsunami are almost 5 months behind us so lets take a step back and look at the changing picture.

High-octane Rocket fuel
Our astronaut, Sheikh Muszaphar and his apparent political affiliations

DAP basically cut off the puppet strings that has been holding the state of Penang on a noose and is now reigning like Evis himself. Lim Guan Eng aka CM has been working hard at interrogating every single move by the ruling party and is getting some traction despite the governmental friction. People are responding well, especially to his pledge for CATful (competency, accountability and transparency concept) governence.

However, not all is sugar and spice - the fact that Penang's state budget has been cut by almost 80% and - as many can guess - is only the tip of the iceberg! CM's not resting on his laurels and declared a holiday in rebellion. (and may I add, totally works for me atm!) Much is to be seen how DAP battles on - no doubt with a new brand of arsenal and support - in stormy weather.

Oh and have you noticed that no one dares to bring up the ever-sensitive issue of religion against the CM? Apparently it's because it's like trying to pour water on a pan-fire - you'll get burnt and lose alot of face. But jokes aside, especially with me being here, I feel oppressed. The rakyat feel oppressed.

RM2.70

For those who drive, surely you know what I'm talking about, and for those who don't, well.. lucky you.

Agreed, I wasn't the most kiasu person out there who went out and had a picnic while waiting for my turn to pump the precious liquid gold because I almost agreed with the concept. (but lets leave the issue for another day) Problem was, it wasn't ten, it wasn't twenty, it was a FORTY percent increase in how much I'm paying to feed my white elephant. Even in Penang where the food is considered cheap (i.e. you can find charkuayteow for RM2.80) people are starting to feel the pinch. My friend doesn't even eat breakfast with us anymore. A Penangite, skipping breakfast.. imagine that. And now they want to upgrade our LRTs and reccomend cycling lanes. I wait in bated breath.

He's in the race, but coming from behind

If 308 was a tsunami, he's the surfer riding the waves. His decade long absence from the political scene has made the man stronger and hopefully wiser. He even got himself on live TV! Now, that's a milestone right there.

Just imagine, 10 years ago, people were rallying because a man got punched. Today.. he just might be the man of our tomorrow.

I could almost feel BN quiver watching his well constructed and devious plan unfold right before their eyes - and despite the cheap tricks and words, doesn't seem like they can do anything about it.

And now, the second wave will hit the shores of Malaysia, so soon you can almost feel it. Stay tuned..

Obamaism

I just watched this and I now feel like a 3rd class nation. Watch and behold.






No, I do not support Obama simply because I don't know what in the world is happening over there. *Dumb blonde moment*..Looks good though.

What's so funny?

There's quote that says, "A day without laughter is a day wasted". Seeing that I've never met anyone who simply refuses to laugh (with the exception of this clip) makes that a no-brainer.

In recent months during my SDM stint here in Penang, I've hung out with numerous people who have the exceptional ability to tickle your funny bone in an instant and i've grown envious of their entertainment capacity (not to mention their huge memory for their jokes database). Agreed, they may have the stupidest of jokes such as:

Q: How do you make an elephant bow?
A: Flick his balls.

See, I know you're going "wth" but i've seen a guy make the same joke and make 30 grown up men pee in their pants! It's all in the delivery, I know, I know.

No, I'm not going to start preaching on the technicalities of humor i.e. structures of jokes etc etc. It just bugs me simply because I'm getting confused due to the fact that different people I talk to give me absolutely contrasting responses! .. It's not funny when you try to crack a joke with your bosses and you get the 'wtf dude'-look' cuz no one fuggin gets it?! Did I mention they were my bosses? Ohshuttup,it's.not.funny.

Alright, key learning time. The truest and time-tested element of humor is (unfortunately) pain. Whether it's physical or emotional pain:
You slip on a banana! (LOL-worthy!)
I call you a banana! (Snort-worthy!)
or sometimes used to good effect - pain on self:
Say, "I lost my nuts.." (it's a pun. Nuts, as in nuts?? geddittt??!)

(Actually me pleading for laughs is embarrasing and my guess is that you at least snorted there)

A good one I've heard was this guy doing stand-up. He was hilariously going on and on and pretty hard on gays and homosexuals and he noticed that some were getting uncomfortable. (it's the US, see). So he says, "I can see some people gettin uncom-for-ta-ble. Why so serious??! What, I can't make gay jokes now?
Can I see them gays in the house? *lifts one hand* There yoall at. See, I don't know much about gays, but I sure know this; If you can take a dick in your mouth... you sure as hell can take a joke!"

Laugh and be merry people, cheers~

You ain't takin shit from me, ya hear?!

It's been awhile, but lets waive all 'preliminary hearings' about what the heck has happened to me in the past months and focus on today's post.

Yet again, it's a politically driven article that has sent me into the urge of writing again. Check :

Legend: Green - I'm for it! Yellow - Questionable.. Red - "Like W.T.F." Bolded for emphasis (duh.)

Malaysia DNA bill draws unease

A CONTROVERSY is brewing over a seemingly rushed parliamentary bill that gives enormous powers to Malaysian police and the Home Minister over the use of a person's DNA in criminal offences.

The bill was passed in principle last Thursday after opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim staged a walkout of opposition lawmakers to protest Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar's refusal to refer the bill to a select committee for further evaluation. But the disquiet was evident: some National Front lawmakers also expressed their anxiety over the legislation's sweeping reach.

For Mr Anwar, 61, the bill must seem to be a slowly unfolding horror personally directed against him. The former deputy prime minister is facing charges that he sodomised an aide in a case that will be mentioned later this week but has refused to give the police a fresh DNA sample. But the bill would make it for suspects to provide DNA samples on pain of a mandatory jail term.

Although he refused to refer the bill to a select committee, Mr Syed Hamid assured opposition lawmakers that the police would never misuse their powers and promised to resign if they ever did. 'There is no political motive,' he later told reporters. 'I think it's ridiculous that the opposition looks at everything as having a political motive.'

But critics say that the bill seemed draconian. They note, for instance, that the legislation empowers a senior policeman to be the head of the forensic DNA databank. They maintain that an independent body, and not the police which have a vested interest in convicting suspects, should handle collection, storage and testing of specimens.

Another clause in the bill allows a policeman to 'use all means necessary' when taking non-intimate DNA samples (saliva or hair samples, for instance) from a suspect. 'What does 'all means necessary' mean in the case of a suspect who is in police custody?' asks Michael Kumar Devaraj, a medical doctor and an opposition lawmaker from Perak state.

But what frightens people most is a section saying that 'notwithstanding any written law to the contrary, any information from the DNA databank shall be admissible as conclusive proof of the DNA identification in any proceedings in any court'.

Lawyers say that it seems to suggest that a suspect cannot ask for an independent review of the DNA evidence, meaning that the DNA databank's opinion cannot be reviewed in any way by a court of law.

Finally, the legislation provides complete immunity for the minister or any DNA databank personnel for any acts of commission or omission by the person 'in good faith'. The critics note that there is no mention of how leftover samples are to be disposed, implying that suspects could possibly be framed for other crimes.

'DNA testing is too powerful a tool to be placed solely in the hands of a police force that has shown bias against political opponents in the past,' says Dr Kumar. 'Make no mistake, this is a bad law with very serious implications.'

Where do I start?

Alright, first, let me admit that I barely know anything about the law (no, Boston Legal doesn't tell me enough) but I'm pretty adamant that I don't fluking like the idea of someone forcefully trying to shove a cotton bud into my mouth.. by "using all necessary means.."!

Alright, lets not kid ourselves. Since when have we started caring that much about criminal cases to bring us to passing DN fluggin A bills in less than a month?!

Oh wait..we do! Only some cases just don't have DNA, do they? (read - *BOOM*!)

CSI'd be proud I tell yah. Hmm.. maybe not when you realize all of a sudden that one day the tables turned and you're on the mistaken side of the law - the wrong one.